Tongue

It was good fun to have some relatives over for the weekend. They're so easy going, so I could just relax and chill without having to think of things to do. Seemed like we spent most of the time trying to work out whether we're first cousin once removed, or second cousins or whether something else was meant to be removed. Maybe that's why I was numb.....nothing to do with the drugs!! Parents also popped over on the Sunday before flying out to Sweden to stay with my brother.

It turned out to be a low energy weekend, with the post steriod drop off feeling of numbness and fatigue really taking over from Saturday evening. It's difficult to describe the numbness, but it's a sensation of being 'detached' or just out of focus.  It's also clear that with tiredness comes emotion and it appears from seemingly nowhere. I started to cry when the Velcade was going in last Thursday....I don't know what triggered it, I wasn't worked up beforehand, I wasn't feeling particularly sad or thoughtful.....it just happened. I had very little sleep the night before, and I suppose things just all add up on occasions. You start to question the situation a bit more, the prognosis and what lies ahead. The same happened on a few occasions over the weekend. The lack of sleep certainly catches up with you. Len and I are starting to really appreciate our regular 3:30am rendezvous......that sounds quite exciting and way too raunchy.......I mean a cup of tea and a read! You know you're in trouble when you've read two articles on how the banks set Libor and you're still not feeling drowsy!!

I've also decided to withdraw my application from the '2012 Beautiful Tongue Awards'. Having become aware that all drinks had started to taste like seawater, I thought I'd do a brief tongue inspection. You'll be please to know that the white shagpile rug I found that had replaced my tongue is now under control (with the aid of some prescribed medicine) and things are returning to normal.......and there I was thinking that steriods gave you a hairy back!! Very naive.

I've got an appointment with my consultant tomorrow afternoon. Not expecting anything other than a routine check up, but will probably ask a bit more about future bone marrow biopsies.