Summer Time and the Living is Easy...

Well, I've finally decided that it's time for another exciting instalment of 'The Life and Times of Patrick J Hoban'. It's been over two months since my last post and a fair bit's been going on over the summer......we've even had a new roof put on the house....how wild is that!!

I'll start off with the most important stuff, and that's the health update. It's been good news from a physical perspective, with my last two blood tests showing my paraprotein levels stable at 10, give or take. All my other blood counts are now back to pre-shingles levels, with my neutrophils level a respectable 2.4, WBC 4.4 and HB 135. All a bit low for normal folk, but considered good value for us myeloma addicts!!

I continue to work part time, with Wednesdays off to break up the week. From a physical perspective I'm coping well, but still remain wary of what happened at the end of May. As I probably said at the time, things felt perfectly fine one minute and the next I'm back in isolation for a week hooked up to an IV drip. I need that little surprise again like a hole in the head!!

From a psychological/emotional perspective I have to be honest and say that things have taken a bit of a dive over the past few months. I've taken a hit confidence wise, which feels more acute in the work environment. I seem to have this unhealthy habit of comparing my performance now with how I felt prior to having seven months off for my transplant. The funny thing is, there's absolutely no pressure or expectation being set by the company, and I appreciate that so much. This feeling is all self inflicted, but saying that, it's a feeling that's there. I need to accept and understand that I've been through a significant change in my life and it's going to take time for things to settle down and for my confidence to re-establish. I mustn't just push what I've been through to the back of my mind and hope to carry on regardless. Annoyingly I can't even blame this on someone else's DNA.....I had my own cells put back in.....damn!!

In addition to the fall in confidence, my ability to focus has also been blurred by the myriad of thoughts running through my head. These have centred around ensuring my diagnosis and treatment have a positive impact on my outlook and the way I live my life. I suppose it's that classic reassessment of my values. I think I'm just frightened of returning to my pre-diagnosis 'normal' lifestyle. Amazing really. I've been craving a return to normality since my treatment began, but now I just don't want my life, and especially my family life, to gradually drift back to where it was a year last April. That's not to say that things back then were particularly bad, it's just that since then my perspective on life has changed. I don't want to be in a position of relapsing at some point in the future, then looking back and thinking, I'm the same person doing the same things I did before my diagnosis. I'm not talking about wholesale changes, perhaps just little tweaks in my life. It's difficult to explain really. This diagnosis has forced my hand into understanding what's truly important in life....faith, feelings, family, friends, wellbeing and San Miguel!! Other things perhaps just aren't as important any longer.

One thing is for sure. I need to give myself the time to re-adjust, and not be too impatient or hard on myself. I am only eight months out of a stem cell transplant, a fact that seems all too easy for me to forget.

Anyway, moving on to holidays, this summer has been somewhat more fruitful than last. Two family holidays including a trip to France and Sweden, finished off with a boys golfing weekend in Turkey. Oh, and Marcus even managed to squeeze in a weeks motorsport and adventure holiday with a mate of his. All great trips....we even had pretty much continuous sun and warm temperatures in Sweden, a minor miracle in itself.... This time around we rented our own cottage on the coast, just south of Gothenburg. Staying with family is great, but it was relaxing for the three of us to have our own space and be able to invite our respect in laws over to 'our place'. Rather than dribble on, I've included a few pictures of the highlights below.

 

 

The little pad in France

 

See, real sun....in Sweden!!

 

There was no room for Marcus on the boat, so we had to drag him behind!

 

Perfect summer photo apart from the weirdo in the foreground!

 



 

Our attempt at a little YMCA on the pontoon!

 



 

Ahhhhh......San Miguel

 

 

 

 

Our room with a view in Turkey

 

 

Anyway, I know I've been a bit slack on keeping you updated with events over the summer, so I'll try and post a blog at least once a month from now on, I bet that makes you happy ;-)